Power imbalances are prevalent in many interpersonal relationships – across sports, schools, workplaces, and in our families, friendships, and beyond. They exist everywhere and are part of how the world functions.
We reviewed how power imbalances are not inherently “bad” or dangerous. They can be leveraged for care and support, creating safety and growth. But, far too often, we see power imbalances used to exert control, manipulate, and coerce, which can become dangerous.
This blog post delves deeper into the realities of power imbalances, offers tools to help those in power self-evaluate, and provides ways to keep power in check.
First, gaining awareness of power imbalances is key.
Power imbalances shape what people say or do.
The person in less power may feel they cannot question the person/party in power, push back, or set boundaries without fearing repercussions. Power imbalances often indicate who will be believed and who will be protected. Therefore, the person in less power is often calculating risk – if I speak up, what could it cost me?
You can gain awareness of the power imbalance in a relationship by asking:
- Who in the situation/relationship/dynamic holds power?
- What type of power do they hold, and/or what do they have power over?
- Who may feel like they can’t speak up?
Example: In basketball, the coach may have power. They may have reward power over the athlete by offering more playing time. The athlete may feel like they can’t speak up and question the coach’s behaviors because they fear losing playing time.
Example: In equestrian, the trainer may have power. They may have hiring and financial power over the groom. The groom may feel like they can’t speak up about working conditions, animal welfare, or delayed payments because they fear losing their job or livelihood.
The realities:
- Anyone can be vulnerable to a power imbalance. This could be based on your age, your identifying factors, your intersectionalities (race, ability, stature, gender, or other factors), and your dependence on the person in power for progress, work, shelter, etc.
- Power imbalances gone awry can happen in small teams, organizations, or large groups. They can happen in informal and formal structures.
- Harmful uses of a power imbalance for power and control rather than care and support can increase within tight-knit and highly aspirational groups, when persons in power play multiple roles, when blurred boundaries and harmful practices are normalized in the group culture, when those in power are colluding with each other, and when institutions fail or are corrupt.
- Harmful uses of a power imbalance can include sexual abuse, emotional abuse, financial abuse, physical abuse, hazing, bullying, discrimination, etc., and these types of abuse can overlap and intersect.
- You can be caught in the middle. You may hold power over some, and others may have power over you.
What do you do if you find yourself or observe someone you know in a harmful power imbalance?
Safety first, always. If you or someone else is in immediate danger, call for help or utilize crisis resources.
Then engage in safe, active bystander intervention. There are a variety of direct and indirect methods you can choose from. It may not always be safe or effective to confront the person in power directly; instead, de-escalation techniques can help diffuse acute situations. These include staying calm, active listening, maintaining personal space, using positive body language, offering choices, and utilizing distractions and redirection.
You can also validate yourself or the person you know who is enduring a harmful power imbalance. It helps to name it – ‘this is a harmful use of power’ – and call out harmful dynamics and denormalize maladaptive practices that may have been occurring. You can use this tool to identify and better understand how imbalance is being leveraged for power and control, and describe what is occurring.
Be sure to document instances that have occurred, resources accessed, and strategies tried along the way. These records can be useful and necessary later for reporting or legal actions.
Should I leave the relationship or situation?
You may want to confront the person in power, you may want to leave, or you may be in a position where you have to stay. This may be because you feel that you don’t have a choice to leave, are reliant on your role for your income or career, or another jeopardizing or even life-threatening factor.
If you want or need to leave the situation, the sports team, the workplace, etc., and can do so safely, do so.
However, it can indeed be very dangerous to leave, particularly in terms of safety, reputation, and the risk of retaliation. You may feel stuck or be stuck in a situation where a power imbalance has gone awry.
Leaving may not be an option, or the only option, both of which are unfair realities to the person not in power. Silence and staying are not signs that everything is okay; rather, they are means of survival. In these cases, self-care and accessing support are best practices.
If the situation is hostile, escalates, involves larger systems, or you need support and advocacy, or you want another opinion or to learn your options, it is always advisable to seek legal counsel.
What can be done to keep those in power in check?
On the individual level:
If you hold a position of power, the most important thing you can do is self-evaluate and get feedback from those above, below, and around you. This can help you monitor if you are exercising your power for care and support or power and control. Sometimes, habits and norms around the use of power are deeply ingrained in our cultures and communities, whether in sport, at work, etc., and you may be unaware that you are enacting these harmful dynamics.
When we increase our self-awareness, we better recognize our behaviors and if they are intentional, reactionary, or conditioned, and truly model care and support for those around us.
Regularly ask yourself the following questions:
- Do people feel safe to disagree with me? How do I know this?
- Do I invite feedback?
- Am I transparent about how and why I do things?
Ideally, you are demonstrating accountability and leading from a position of power in ways that are caring and supportive of the best interests of those you serve. Those in less power feel safe pushing back and questioning you respectfully without fear of unjust consequences or retaliation. You regularly ask for feedback on your leadership style and incorporate actionable changes to improve the power dynamic in the relationship. You are transparent, honest, clear, and fair about how and why things are done, demonstrating trust and consistency.
On the institution/organization level:
Harm occurs and persists when systems prioritize power over people. To better protect people, prevention and response strategies to regulate power are essential.
Organizations should supply all individuals with education on power imbalances, healthy relationship dynamics, and strengths-based leadership, and have community-informed codes of conduct that outline acceptable versus unacceptable behaviors. These policies must not only be published but also enforced.
Then, there must also be structures in place that keep those in power in check, such as neutral or independent oversight. This looks like having safe, clear, and accessible reporting pathways and trauma-informed, survivor-centered response procedures.
Furthermore, the system must ensure that those in power are not corrupt or colluding, protecting only those in power, but all people. This demonstrates institutional courage versus institutional betrayal.
On the communal level:
Harm happens and continues when it is enabled and/or given passive permission to continue.
This looks like defending or excusing the harmful practices of powerful individuals, staying silent or failing to report them, and rewarding their successes over their integrity, regardless of the costs or means. Rather, serve as a safe, active bystander, exemplify healthy boundaries and relationship dynamics, and advocate for positive cultural change in your community. We all have a role to play in creating safe and healthy relationships and environments.
We cannot eradicate power imbalances, nor should we, but we can create infrastructure, accountability, and cultures in which power imbalances leveraged for power and control are no longer tolerated.
If you or someone you know needs support, visit our resources and crisis resources.
Kathryn McClain, MSW, MBA
Program and Partnerships Director at #WeRideTogether
kmcclain@weridetogether.today
